i awoke this morning..
with memory of a dream...
one in which i felt the love of a woman for the first time in years...

...and it felt nice.

now i know it was just a dream...
and that it is not true..
but for as long as i am able,
im going to try to remember that feeling...
and wish it were you.

an amazing day.headed out towards detroit to take some shots of the city, and on the way i wanted to finally get a shot i have plotted to get for years...the skylineof detroit from the top of the 75 overpass near rouge. so i headed towards schaeffer(sp?) and fort street near where the overpass begins and locked my bike up near the wall that is supposed to keep me out i presume...then i preceded to climb over that wall, camera and tripod in hand, and walked along the shoulder of oncoming traffic up the slope...shot a vid...it was sketchy for sure, figured i might get arrested or hit by flying shrapnel all final destination style and what not...but nope...got to the top, set up the camera, wasn't the clearest day in the world, but i think i may be able to work with the shots i took and come up with something pretty cool...so there i was, top of the 75 overpass, camera set up...and a huge semi drove by super fucking close and the residual wind blew my hat right off my head on over the wall of the overpass where it slowly descended onto the train tracks below..nearly got ran over and destroyed several times...so, i took a couple more shots, and walked back down the slope, where i came across a car along the shoulder that wasnt there when i first walked past...i walked past at first, not giving any mind to the situation, and as i walked past the car, i turned around as i realized they may need help..it was an elderly man, so i asked him if everything was ok..he was out of gas he said. i asked him if he had a cell phone to call anyone, and he said he was just going to wait there for a policeman to possibly drive by and that they might be able to get him some gas..i asked him why he would do that, and he said because he didn't have any money to spend...i asked if he had a gas container, we checked the trunk...and he did. so i walked down to the gas station several blocks away and filled his container and got him on his way, he thanked me...and it felt good to have been able to help. i then continued to get my bike and find access to the train tracks, because there is no way in hell i was going to say goodbye to that hat without trying to get it back...had to climb a fence illegally...but i got my hat back...hell yes. i also got some really good shots while i was down there...and then, i hopped on a bus with my bike on the front bike rack, and made my way into the city...where i thouroughly enjoyed trolling through the dirty alleyways and out of the way places where grafitti may be hiding, and met and talked to alot of really cool people around the town who gave me some good places to shoot. all-in-all: an amazing day with a few adventures and some good karma hopefully.

ok, so...gonna get this out there...

i got myself a pretty bad mouthful of teeth in me. it's hereditary. i am not, nor have i ever been a crackhead or meth addict. i come by it honestly. yeah, it pretty much sucks, but there is not too much to be done about it. eventually, i will have to look into getting a full mouth of fake, old people dentures....but for right now, i just really have to deal with it. so that's that. i know it's pretty noticeable, and i know when you notice you will want to ask, but don't out of kindness, so there it is. i got shitty teeth. im dealing with it. excuse me if i try not to smile too much these days }:~)>

I drink my Coffee in the morning...

just to get me out of bed.

And smoke the herb to the brain,

just to check my head.

I got the world news screaming at me,

telling me to lock my door..

but I just can't do it,

I think it's the same world

it was before.

this world is always ending,

the doom is always near.

The government is always out to get you,

controlling you with fear.

All the wars are just for money,

all the nations just stand for greed.

And we the people barely get

just the little that we need.

But I keep waking up.....

....I keep waking up.

So, I haven't just sat down and wrote anything in quite sometime...figured now was a good time.

The road I have been on over the past several years has been full of twists, turns, and alot of learning and self discovery as well. I'm not entirely sure how it happened...but life has handed me happiness and peace of mind. It's a crazy thing to sit back for a minute and reflect on where I now find myself....in the office of Graham & Sons Antiques and Fine Furnishings...it's amazing. I am the proprietor of our family business. My mother is the owner. We now run an antique store as well as an auction house in Monroe, The Sundance Auction House....

...sorry, I was just re-reading that last grouping of sentences and soaking it in a bit...the idea is still new to me..but man, do I dig it.

Working for a Family Business is not like working at all. I put in over 80 hours a week here at the shop...at least...and I could be here more in all honesty, and it wouldn't bother me one bit. I know that this all goes into the family pot. It all benefits us....and that in itself, is more gratifying than working for anybody else. We are working towards a better future for ourselves, and man does it feel good.

I love being able to talk to people all the time. I love the fact that I feel proud to dress in a shirt and tie everyday, being happy to represent the family the best that I am able to. I love the fact that I am able to help.

Being at the shop is a great feeling. Over the past several weeks, many friends and family members have popped in to take a look around , or just to sit back and have a cup of coffee over some conversation. This makes me very happy as well. I seem to have shaken free some of my walls and allowed for a happier existence to happen. I am letting more and more people into my life, and feel the need to let more in.

And, somehow, in the process of taking a different path in life, I am finding I have let go of the feeling of loneliness that has haunted me. I have a new feeling of content that has washed over me. As if I walked blindfolded through a waterfall, I feel good again. Not sure how or why, but I am not one to question these things...at least not this time....I'm pretty happy...and I know that everything will work out just fine from here.

Everything happens exactly the way it should....otherwise, it would have happened some other way.

Much Love.

-kcl

The past year: a reflection

The past year has been an interesting one in my life on this earth. Hell, in the last couple months many changes have been made in my life. Back in August, I got it in me to take off....to leave everything and start over, travelling around and working from place to place. I desperately needed a change. I thought that was what I needed.

So I gave notice to my family and friends, as well as my road crew job, and started making very rough plans to head towards Fort Myers, FL. I took off on a mountain bike that was given to my by Nathan Delong (an old High School friend who thought I should have it, seeing as though both bikes I had previously had been stolen). It was a very nice thing to do, especially seeing as though Nate and I have barely talked in the past decade or so.

I packed up as much as I thought I could carry with me, which amounted to about two sets of clothing, a tent, my camera and tripod, a blanket, my father's old laptop, a little bit of food in the form of ramen noodles and rice, a sterno camping stove, a pot and some silver ware...as well as various other matches and camping tools I thought I would need.

I made it 160 miles on my newly acquired mountain bike. I made it to Lima, OH....and I knew that was about as far as I was going to push myself.

My back and apparently the rest of my middle aged body had had enough.

That moment would be a benchmark for the rest of the year.

I am not as young as I once was....

...and what I thought I needed....to escape...was not what I needed at all.

Don't get me wrong, it was good for me. I learned alot about myself and about people on my little adventure, but after coming back into Wyandotte for Austin's 16th Birthday, I knew I had to stick around. Once I got into town, I knew that there was no way I could leave again.

Fort Myers was great. The location and the weather were beautiful....simply breathtaking at times. I thoroughly enjoyed my time there. But, when your life tells you that you need to do something, sometimes you should listen...

And now, my mother has decided to start a family business in the form of an antique and furniture storefront on Eureka across from Cahalan's Party Store and and auction house located in Monroe...which was another reason I felt as though I should stay in town...Better to work towards a family business that to work for anybody else in my opinion. My mom has always dreamed of going into business for herself, and if I can help her do so, than I really see no other option.

The past year has humbled me. It has aged me, it has made me very aware of my own mortality. I have learned much in the past year, I have alot more to learn still.

Let's hope I do.

There is alot of improving to be done...if I am ever going to meet the girl of my dreams, I have to first make sure that I have it in me to be the man of her dreams...

much love everyone.